example of a blog i do not want to write

Spring Concert occurred, so that warrants an update.
Spring Concert is the ultimate distraction. Here is a poem about it:

SPRING CONCERT
where
alcoholics
frolic

Good huh? Well it’s informative, which is more that you can say for lots of poems.
Now it is Monday and all work needs to be done, which is probably why I am writing this now. And that’s exactly the bit that I want to talk about– layers of distraction. Let’s start on the outermost layer. In this sense, SPRING CONCERT is the same as blogging– I participate in both as an explicit distraction from my piles of impending homework.
So, homework. I think that homework, at its base, is not a distraction. On the other hand, when individuals become so engrossed in the meticulous, grade-oriented elements of homework, we start to notice an element of distraction to their devotion. Homework, when it is not a distraction, is a valuable learning tool. On the other hand, when homework is not being used as a learning tool, it is often used as a methodical balm for the uncertainties of life. No matter if everything is going to shit, I can always sit down and engross myself in
ARE YOU DISTRACTED YET

Electrofailure

So when I switched states last week, I forgot my Zune charger and my phone charger. Not only does this failure add to the accumulating incriminating evidence of my idiocy, it also leaves me feeling really unprotected.

In the past, when I woke up every morning, I would make sure my Zune was in my side jacket pocket and my phone was in my back pants pocket. That way I would never be stranded. I could never be bored.

Now I am both.

Yesterday I went adventuring through uptown, and while I still brought my two favorite items, they were entirely useless. When you aren’t wearing headphones, it is distinctly more difficult to pretend that you didn’t hear the middle-aged sketcher ask for your number. When you can’t access your music collection, it is confoundingly frustrating to accidentally wander into a coffee shop with poor taste in music. Could I get a to-go cup after all? And frankly, it’s almost depressing to shop for music, knowing that it will be literally days before I can put the discs in my digital collection.

The phone is another issue. I am cut off entirely. I do not know if anybody wants to talk to me, but in my imagination I am wildly popular when my phone is dead. I’ve probably missed a hundred calls, and each of those individual callers probably hates me for failing to call them back. Now instead of being just an insensitive, over-assertive ass, I’m an elitist, insensitive, over-assertive ass.

This is just Perfect, to draw references to my previous posts.

Fame and Veganism

I’ve been talking a lot about fame, and I think it’s time to explain.

It might not be fun to be famous, and it’s really not even that enjoyable to make fun of specific famous people (although a lot of people do it), but it’s really, really fun to laugh at fame. Like veganism.

Here’s why:
Everybody knows that fame, power, and money are supposed to be the three driving impulses of human carnality. First of all, this is stupid because it doesn’t say anything about sex, except that I guess some people want to have sex with famous people. But then, some people want to have sex with teachers, and barely anybody wants to be a teacher.

Power makes sense because if you are powerful you get what you want. This is like a tautology. Of course people want to get what they want.

Money makes sense because you can buy things, and things are cool.

Fame doesn’t make sense. Who wants people watching them? If it’s just for the sex, then the big three should be sex, power, and money. Not fame. Fame is useless. It just means that people know who you are.

Which, incidentally, is why I frequently refuse to distinguish between fame and infamy. Infamy is just as effective at getting known, if not more so. And you can’t say that the difference between fame and infamy is that infamous people have fewer friends, because famous people have zero friends, so that’s impossible. Famous people can’t have friends because everybody is jealous because fame is part of the big three. That’s pretty funny.

And veganism is funny too.